Blog Confessional
I think this picture is funny! I also think it is an accurate depiction of my attitude toward our current life situation. I think blogs are fun and I mostly like to report the exciting and happy times in our life. I also think there is room for some sharing of the heart. So that's what today's post is about. I am confessing that we are continuing to wait...and I am not waiting very well! I am growing impatient and frustrated. Our apartment lease ends on Halloween and we know we will be out of Wake Forest by that date at the latest. The looming question remains...WHERE will we be going?! I like to plan. I like to organize. I like to line up my little ducks. Josh, on the other hand, thinks this next stage in life is a fun adventure, does not worry over the details and at times, I wonder if he is even aware that he has ducks to line up. We have very different (and complementary) personalities and mine just doesn't jive with this waiting stage. I am trying very hard to trust in the Lord and His timing of things...which is ALWAYS best and I believe that with my whole heart...but it seems I continue to panic over the unknowns and doubt His perfect plan for us. I am a fast moving emotional roller coaster. I have had some amazing time with the Lord, some divinely appointed friends to empathize and encourage and the prayer support of many loved ones. Most of the time I am relaxed and truly resting in my GREAT God! But then there are those times...when the roller coaster creeps up that giant hill of worry and uncertainty, and I just crash down the steep drop as I mentally freak out and become overwhelmed. (These are the moments when I am sure Josh and Sugar wonder if THEY can make it through this crazy time in our lives). I know with 100% assurance that God's got this way under control. It just seems there are moments of struggle when my heart and brain veer away from His truth. Praise the Lord for my strong and steadfast husband, patient pals and loving family! So there's my confession. I bet many of you can relate and I know I'm not the only person on planet earth who doesn't have her act together. I am very thankful for your prayers and encouragement...now you know how much I've truly needed it. :o)
11 comments:
hey ~
we're praying for y'all! and i can certainly relate to wanting to have everything planned and organized. I know it seems like a crazy time in your lives and I think you have recently been through crazier times back in Apr-June with your mom's illness. God so amazingly provided during that time...and He will now, too!
JONI :)
Donna,
Girl. I find myself thinking and planning what's next and even being anxious about it and we still have 2 years. Crazy I know. But I totally relate with the husband who just lets it slide on by unaffected. I'm praying for you and I really can't wait to see what the Lord does with you guys next. Thanks for sharing.
Donna, I cracked up when I read your blog because that is me in a nut shell! Brian has two more years left at UT, and I already worry about where he will do his Post Doc and get a job afterwards. Brian is all about the big adventure too and doesn't understand why I want to know where we'll end up in 4-5 years =). We'll keep praying for y'all!
donna,
i can so relate. i want all my ducks in a row, too! but i cannot even find my ducks anymore!!! our Heavenly Father is teaching you and i both major lessons in trusting in His timing/sovereignty. (mine has been over several years - living in different countries) not knowing what is going to happen will cause you to give Him greater praise afterwards when you see His perfect plan unfold. if everything works out in a pretty timeline, then wonderful. but if not, we still have to praise Him. just like the three amigos in daniel 3.
i love you!!!
laura
Donna,
Quit freaking out. God is in control and He is giving you this opportunity to REST in him. Now, go rest!!
Ha, ha. Seriously, hang in there and know that if this came really easily and all your ducks lined up on their own, you wouldn't have to rely on God through any of it. I love you Donna!
Leah
i love my friends!
donna,
boy have i been there. has He ever left you to hang out to dry? Nizz-ope! I'm in this with you and I'm praying and waiting with anticipation over what He has in store. Expect! Expect! Expect GREAT things!! I can't wait to see!
Hang in there girl. You can do this!
Hollie
donna,
obviously you are the only one with these sort of feelings.
yeah, right!
when good ole Katrina blew through here and knocked our plans into a spiraling frenzy I began to worry, freak out, and fret. But My God, who supplies all my needs, who never leaves or forsakes...He was there. And he met our needs, and comforted us...he WILL do the same for you guys...and I cannot wait to see where He places you.
love you guys and am praying,
t-pea :)
You'll get through this!!! And I'm with you- ducks must be neat and organized. =)
You girls need shoot a few of your ducks, put a few in the bathtub and let a few swim in circles.
Husband
donna, i was looking back at some old pictures of cylia as i'm thinking of Christmas gifts for the grandparents and found this old post. it reminded me of what you're going through. i know it's long, but read it --- it's good.
February 27, 2007
Yesterday we went to Dr. Luther’s office. He officially met the moms. After the exam he said it would be a few more days. He still expects her this week. However, if she is not here by Friday, then we have another appointment on Friday afternoon. Until then, he has ordered another ultrasound (this morning) and another fetal monitor (tomorrow) to see how she is doing. He told me that he usually only waits for 1 week after the due date. The original due date was February 29 (or this year: March 1). So, maybe that is when she will arrive. Thank you for praying for us during this time. It’s so hard for me since I have NO control over the situation and I like for everything to be organized and scheduled. This is definitely a lesson in TRUST.
guess when cylia was born after all? yep, march 1.
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