Valentine's Day

I did it again. I had expectations. I purchased cute puppy valentine cards for my girls and a fish card for my husband. I decided to make strawberry pancakes - from scratch - for my loves on the morning of V-Day.

It's not a big deal. I'm not a die-hard fan of the holiday. But since we have daughters, I want to make it fun for them. And teach them about love. And let their Daddy set the standard high for any future real-live-boy valentines.

What I didn't plan for was being AWAKE with the Pea from 3am until 6am. It began innocently enough. Change the diaper. Feed her a bottle. She asked for Daddy. We snuggled in the big bed. Typically she goes right back to sleep.

Um. Not this time. She played, she talked, she babbled. She then kicked and shook the crib. Which led to screaming.

Not crying. Just hey-i'm-bored-in-here-by-myself-let's-have-some-fun kinda scream. More bottling. More diapering. Sometime, in the wee hours of the morning, she went back to sleep. And so did I.

Needless to say, I wasn't on top of my breakfast game. I was scrambling around to find ingredients. It was late. I was cranky. But the cards were ready to go, placed on the table. I worked some kitchen magic and wa-la! Strawberry pancakes for all.

E was definitely still snoozing. J was handling youth business on the phone. M was pouting because the pancakes weren't cooked in the oven. And she didn't want strawberries in her pancakes. And she doesn't like cards.

Really? This was so NOT what I had planned.

And to top it all off, I made the mistake of getting on Face Book. It was like rubbing a puppy's face in it's "mistake."

You're not a good enough mom. You didn't decorate the table, chairs, walls and ceiling. You did not make your children memorize the top ten Bible verses on God's love. Your girls did not sit at the table in full princess costumes with make-up, giant smiles and sparkling tiaras. You didn't pick a food your toddler even likes! You didn't purchase stuffed animals larger than your real live pet. You did not create hand-made valentines for the class party that were gender specific with witty sayings and name-brand candy. You didn't even bring J breakfast in bed.

You are a failure. A Valentine's Day failure.

Then I remembered my True Valentine. My First Valentine. And He wrapped me up in His assurances and extravagant love with whispers from His Word. Reminded me that I am His treasured princess.
"Let the King be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord." Psalm 45:11. Isn't that a sweet verse? I love it.

I would like to say that this moment of spiritual clarity made the rest of my day go smoothly and it was the best ever.

But that would mean E did not paint the living room with yogurt, dump my floral bouquet all over the floor and M did not tell me "I wish you would go to work and Daddy would stay home today."

Sigh. I wish I made all that up to sound witty and empathetic to anyone else who had a less than perfect day. But it all happened.

But I'm okay with it. One day I will handle life with more grace and ease. Until then I will continue to focus on the picture-and-post-worthy moments--

And to clarify...these fun moments also occurred on V-Day. The girls had a peaceful afternoon at the park. And J gave all 3 of his sweethearts flowers. It really was a great day! I just have to laugh at myself and my ridiculous expectations out of life.