Frosty the Snowman

Since having two precious girls we can no longer purchase, set up and decorate a tree (along with the entire house) in one day. The day after Thanksgiving was our designated-decorating-day many moons ago. Slowly I have begun decorating the inside of our home earlier and earlier. It takes so much energy and time, and well, we love the festive atmosphere! We want to enjoy it for as long as possible. So yesterday I (er, my husband) began lugging the boxes up from the basement.

Of course the first box I open, I discover THE BOOK I hid and wouldn't even open last year. Here is the heart-wrenching culprit of my ugly cry yesterday.

He is not as innocent as he appears.

And before you judge me for over-reacting, please note this is a RECORDABLE story book.

Shame on you, Hallmark.

I can picture Mama sitting at our dining room table to record her reading the story. She laughed and looked at me and said, "you're just doing this because you think I'm gonna' croak."

It was her last Christmas with us.

When I found the book last year, I hid it in a box and wouldn't even let M remember we had it. The hurt was too fresh. When I saw the book yesterday, I told myself I was strong and more emotionally prepared.

So I sat down with M and E on the couch and they began turning the pages and I heard my sweet Mama's voice. And the tears started flowing and the mascara started running. M told E, "mommy's ok, she just misses Me-Me."

My sweet girl is SO right! It was hard to listen, but so precious to hear Mama read the story to her grand-babies. One particular line at the end of the book struck me hardest.

"Don't you cry, I will be back again someday."

So I cried harder. I didn't care what Frosty and Mama were telling me to do.

A variety of influences and circumstances affect my sensitive emotions. The holidays can be hard on my heart.

It is tempting to focus on what I miss...how my holiday experiences don't quite match up with the sappy movies and Facebook posts about visiting childhood homes. But the Lord reminded me to focus on what I DO have. A husband. Children. Sisters. Crazy nieces and nephews. Lots of loving in-laws. Friends. Church community.

I am blessed beyond belief and I want to celebrate the holidays intentionally focusing on who is here with me and not wallowing in the pain of missing those gone too soon.

I'm okay with visiting that sadness. Honoring the memories of my brother, parents and grandparents. Crying over Frosty the Snowman is fine.

It is a gentle reminder for me to take a closer look at those around me during the holiday season. Seek out the hurting hearts. Invite the lonely over for dinner. Deliver Christmas baskets while singing off-key.

A shift in my perspective can make all the difference in how I think, feel and act during the approaching celebrations of Thanksgiving and Christmas. May I never lose sight of what He has done for me, what blessings He has lavished upon me. It is easy to learn this lesson in material things...in my American abundance of stuff...but may I also remember it in my heart.

"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:4